FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

1. After I get on the list, when and where do I report to get on the rocketship?

2. What do you mean I'm not guaranteed a spot on the rocket?

3. What?! No rocket?

4. So why are we even doing this?

5. Won't only rich people and the intellectual elite get to go on these rocketships anyway? Why should I sign-up?

6. The destruction of the planet? Aren't you being a little alarmist?

7. Once in space, where will we go?

8. Will gay marriage be legal is space?

9. How will the world end?

10. Will I get anything else from this list?

11. If the Earth is destroyed, how will
Santa Claus find us if the rocketship doesn't have a chimney?


12. Can I bring my pet/loved one/child?


 

FREQUENTLY QUESTIONED ANSWERS

1. After I get on the list, when and where do I report to get on the rocketship?
- Whoa. Hold on there partner. The Earth ain't imploding just yet. This list is just a precautionary measure and in no way guarentees you a spot on any evacuation rocket.

2. What do you mean I'm not guaranteed a spot on the rocket?
- Rocketships are kind of like airplanes. They only have a limited number of seats. Sure you're on the list but we won't know how many spots are available until if and when the Earth's destruction is upon us. So think of this as you just bought yourself a lottery ticket...
to the most important lottery of your entire existence. But that's neither here nor there. We don't even have a rocket.

3. What?! No rocket?
- We're a grassroots operation. And we leave the building of spaceships to the Sir Richard Bransons of the world. We're doing the clerical work so the smart people can concentrate on inventing an operational warp drive.

4. So why are we even doing this?
- The government isn't collecting this information, as least not that we're aware of. We're providing this service so that it's there when it's needed.

5. Won't only rich people and the intellectual elite get to go on these rocketships anyway? Why should I sign-up?

- Because space will still need nannies and garbagemen. Plus, this opportunity doesn't have to go exclusively to the upper class.
Write your congressperson and tell them about the Earth Evac List so we can really get the ball rolling.

6. The destruction of the planet? Aren't you being a little alarmist?
- Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best.

7. Once in space, where will we go?

- What do you care? Try sticking around the Earth after the bomb hits and see how far melted flesh and liquified organs will get you.

8. Will gay marriage be legal is space?
- Only gay marriage, baby.

9. How will the world end?
- With a bang and then a whimper.

10. Will I get anything else from this list?

- If we get around to it, perhaps we'll offer buttons, or stickers, or T-shirts or something.

11. If the Earth is destroyed, how will Santa Claus find us if the rocketship doesn't have a chimney?
- First off, Santa Claus has his own contingency plan. The big guy will be quite safe. And, duh... haven't you ever heard of pod bay doors.

12. Can I bring my pet/loved one/child?
- Pets, loved ones, and children will all be provided.



 

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